noun \tran(t)-ˈsi-shən, tran-ˈzi-, chiefly British tran(t)-ˈsi-zhən\
: a change from one state or condition to another
: passage from one state, stage, subject, or place to another
: a movement, development, or evolution from one form, stage, or style to another
: a musical modulation
: a musical passage leading from one section of a piece to another
: an abrupt change in energy state or level (as of an atomic nucleus or a molecule) usually accompanied by loss or gain of a single quantum of energy
It has begun: I am in the midst of a time of transition. This is a time filled with expectation, hope, excitement, and anticipation, and a time filled with goodbyes, overwhelm by paper, packing, last and second last times.
…moments of relief and moments of reflection break over each other.
…moments of anticipation break into the quotidian.
Transitions. This is a time when we can begin to look forward. I have moved many times, and this time won’t be the last – although it will be the last time I move without my husband moving with me. There’s no guarantee, of course, that he won’t be away sometime when we have to move, but at least he will call wherever I call home.
I am not always good at leaving well. I have often left messes for other people to have to deal with. I haven’t always made a clean break or said goodbye and farewell with very much grace.
I am trying to make this time of Transition better than other times.
I have written handover documents. The first of the farewells has happened. There are boxes all over the studio half filled. I have piles of documents I need to sort and shred.
At the moment, I’m best described as one of those really annoying happy people at the moment. This past week or two have been been filled with opportunity and hope. Indeed, It feels like the difficulties and trials of the last few years are finding their way to beauty somehow lately. More than that, glimmers of hope of a dream I was struggling to reconcile with might be returning…
This is big: I don’t think I was letting myself grieve a dream i feared was lost until there was this glimmer – but somehow, there are moments of light flickering through the cracks of the tunnel I feared I was walking through endlessly. At the moment, I don’t know what will happen, but there’s a great power in anyone caring enough to want to read what you write… right now, i am starting to wonder: could I? is it possible for me?
It’s a wonderfully full time right now pregnant with possibility and the anticipation and hope of being with my best friend soon. Soon being relative of course! My husband and I have now spent more of our marriage apart from each other than together and I miss him more every single day than the last.
We begin to tentatively plan, to seek opportunities for adventure together.
Transitions: the story of my life.
Listening. Observing. Participating. Writing. Photographing. Reflecting.
Anna Blanch Rabe is an Australian-born writer and photographer. You can follow her adventure on Not A Pedestrian Life, or Facebook. For more domestic things take a look at Quotidian Home or her previous website, Goannatree.