In my world, most of the world is north of where I stand. The water is scarce, the sun burns, and the only bit of land South is Antarctica. Everything is a little bit upside down.
If you have been reading posts here for any length of time you might be wondering why I’m not on a train somewhere in Asia right now. Yes, you’re right. I was supposed to be in the midst of Overland from Oz.
But I’m not.
Instead, I’m in the USA dealing with the jet lag only a 16 hour flight could bring when you land at altitude. I’m not in Asia, i’m in the desert in the southwestern state of New Mexico.
I’ve long believed that how you spend your time, and what you invest energy into says more about your priorities than any pseudo intellectual articulation ever could.
So, as much as I invested hours in planning, organizing, and connecting in advance of Overland from Oz, the opportunity to be with my husband after being separated for two months was just too attractive.
Maybe also the memory of our month together after the wedding and it’s joys was a deciding factor. For five weeks I was the closest I have been in living memory to being completely present. I focused on adjusting to a new stage of life. I enjoyed experimenting with food. I enjoyed being able to imagine how our home will come together. I found myself able to reflect on the strangeness of it all.
By Strangeness I means a feeling that is foreign.
It was a concerted and intentional experience of being in the moment.
I have longed to feel secure enough to be present. Not because I am loved but because I finally felt like I wasn’t needing to look for the next thing, the next way to move forward, to achieve.
This is what it is to be renewed.
to be restored.
Napping. Loving, dreaming.
Beginning to make friends. Being present.
Cooking. Laughing. Dancing in our kitchen together.
I liked it. I might try and do it some more.
Overland from oz is not completely abandoned, but it isn’t happening as scheduled. It will find a new iteration. It was find its resolution in new dreams, new plans, and new hopes.
My world has turned upside down and it will take some time to find a new equilibrium: A new normal in this new adventure.